I've heard from other artist friends that the constant up and down roller coaster of emotions over my work is normal. But damn, that doesn't make it any easier. I had a show a few months ago, it was fabulous, amazing crowd of friends and locals, art was sold...I was on a high that night feeling proud and grateful. Then woke up the next morning thinking maybe I should just give up painting! I was knocked back down that quickly with fear. All the usual suspects were there: thoughts of being unoriginal, uncertainty about my next steps, fear over not being able to make a living. But this time I didn't put my paint brushes down and retreat like I have so many other times, waiting for months to paint again (and letting commissions just sit on the sideline). I forced myself to muddle through the fear and FREAKIN PAINT every single day. Even if I wasn't happy with a piece at the end of the day, I forced myself to paint SOMETHING every day. And it worked.
So here I am again, staring down the face of fear this morning. I'm in between studios (again), waiting another month to get into my new space where I will once again unpack all my things and stretch out. In the meantime it feels like every day is a battle to convince myself that I am on the right path.
But dammit, I will paint. EVERY DAY. And trust that it will all work out in the end.